“I want to drive down the road and into the evening sun. I want to drive with my windows down and with music blowing through my hair. I want to stop by the petrol kiosk, and sip cold Coke in the middle of winter from a frosty glass bottle. Can I, will I, how can I?”

A long time ago (1996), I’ve written an article after coming back from Australia. It was an article about the Singapore dream and I published it on my old web site. It seized numerous attentions from many a strangers, whom shared my same views. That article, was about the frustration and the stressful life faced by many Singaporeans back home in achieving the dream of maintaining the notorious 5Cs (careers or cash, credit cards, car, condominium, country club membership ). Not only that, it mentioned the tiny and restricted lives we live in Singapore, and how monotonous and controlled it can be. That article, was conceived in the depressing army barracks one morning when I woke during my service to the nation. It was back by a mountain of reality and emotion that many of us share back home.

Well incase you are not from the tiny island where I came from, back home, in order to live a comfortable and worthwhile life, either you be born with a silver spoon stuck up where the sun never shines, or you waste your life away building up these 5Cs. Many of us, do not have this silver cutlery sticking out of our sewage orifice, and so we spend our whole life trying to build it. And finally when we achieved our goals, we cannot ripe the benefits of our fruit because we already have halve our feet in the coffin. Hell yeah… it’s all intolerably draining, which exhaust us all, thus resulting in the country’s low birth rate and late marriages.

This article that I bring forward now, is a continuation to the previous article (I have since lost that article, but if I do find it in my backup CDs, I’ll put it up again.).

First, my theory of Life:

1. I am only passing by, I will not be here long and once I leave, I will never come back, you only see me once in this entire spectrum of time and space. It shall be the same for you.

2. Because I am only passing by, I live my life to the fullest, for I may be gone tomorrow into the next continuation of consciousness. On the last moment of my existence here, I shall look back and must be blissful, for the path that I have chosen has been a consequence of my choice, of my will, and not of regimentals and peer pressure from the environment.

Its been just more then seven months since I decided to pack up my bag and come to Bangkok to work, for good. Friends, all of you ask me why? For what? Why the sudden decision? Am I really going to be here for good? Well the answer is a solid yes, I love it here and thus I shall rebuild my living here.

I have been working in Singapore so long, so boring, not to mention so fatiguing too. Started in 96 as a PC technician, working my way in a few short years to become a Director of Technology in the wireless communications industry. But, am I happy? Does my environment allow for a meaningful life? No and why not? To start with, life back home is a vicious cycle of hand to mouth. The grasp we have on cash is like a net in the fast flowing river of white water, there is little opportunity to create a pool where wealth can be sustained.

We as human beings like to indulge ourselves. Weather you know it or not, we each subconsciously relate back to point 2 of my theory.  If you do not do it now, then when will it be? And thus the results are the splurging of hard earned cash on expensive entertainment, food, wine dining and all. Expensive it is, the food and drinks in Singapore. But over here in Bangkok, each baht spend is money well spent. Not to say that the food and drinks are cheap, but to say that values of consumables are realistic unlike that in Singapore.

Food is one of the essential items in life and cars are the next. Needless to say more but we all know we spend a lot of money to buy a piece of paper (Certificate Of Entitlement). Have car will travel, as we are born to walk the earth. But with such ridiculous price tag on cars, many among us simply cannot afford it. Lets say you managed to buy a car in Singapore. With a car, you managed to buy time. Time saved equals purchased time for me. Time saved does convert into money via work but you realized eventually that these extra cash immediately goes back to paying the high monthly installments for the car. Although you have achieved convenience and satisfied your traveling desire, the money flow is a vicious cycle ain’t it?

To add to the frustration, you get to own the cars for only 10 years, after which, you need to purchased anew. You will never ever get to own it for good. Money in followed by money out it never stops. You don't get to own many things for good living in Singapore. They make sure the money does not stop for long in your pocket.

I used to have a car ($109,000 for a Civic), brand new for two years. Kept a good track record, no speeding, no reckless driving. One unlucky encounter with the police after a few drinks (okay… maybe more then a few) and there goes my license. No second chance that is how strict Singapore is. I had to sell my baby.

Okay, since cars are that expensive, then simply don’t buy one. Sure, many of us do not own cars and waste countless life energy waiting for public transports. That sure solved the money issue. But next comes the most difficult essential item to acquire in life. A home you can call your own.

We take many years to build up enough money in our CPF (A government fund that we contribute by having 20% of our pay forwarded in there.) and bank account to finally be able to pay the deposit to own an average $250,000 (about $5 to $6 billion baht) small flat. Then we move into those pigeonhole nest and live out the rest of our lives. We pay high installments and interest for the next 30 years. At the end of the day, we find that our CPF have been drained half empty. Taking the worst case condition, you are old and you can no longer work, due to high standards of living, the money you have only last you five years. You die a miserable life and they only find your old wriggled body decomposed and eaten by rats after four months (which there are cases already). How f*.*ing pathetic.

Friends, I used to see the world through a narrow pipe a long time ago. I felt suffocated and restricted. Finally when I went on my two and half-year stint in down south Australia, many perceptions of life unfolded right in front of me. The frame of mind transforms when one lives long enough in a different land. After that blissful period of time, I had to return reluctantly to Singapore. I have been searching for that euphoria ever since. And now I packed and I came.

I have a choice here in this new land. I can choose my standards of living. I can be crazy as hell and become a simple farmer. I can choose to work hard and climb the corporate ladder. And for my case, I choose to do a business and watch it grow. I have many choices here, choice of my own driven by passion from my soul. My passion derived from within and not from the invisible but noticeable environmental pressure lurking around back home. I have life in my hands.

Thailand is a land of smiles, of varied cultures, places and people. I see the world now as I did in Australia. Vast land, I am unbounded. I can drive for hours endlessly and hear my engines roar. I drive from warm to cold climates, from the land to the hills and into the clouds. I swim where waters are clear and where the beaches are white. I smile to the people without people thinking I have burst a mental pipe in my brain and I speak now with bliss leaking out the sides of my lips.

Ready your courage and do not let material things tie you down back home. We all can have a choice of our own but many of us find it easier said then done. Do not even fear the difficulties of language. Thailand speaks little English and I speak no Thai. I will learn the language, the people and the culture. I will blend in soon and I will disappear. Goodbye friends in Singapore, I really missed you all. I really missed all the crazy party nights, the stupid things we did when drunk and all the times we had. I really appreciated all the fun and help you great people had contributed. I really need to move I am sorry. I need to be freed and to soar into my dreams. Our encounter in this existence has been wonderful. I’ll be back someday to say “hi” but I will not stay long, for my life is now here.

In 96 I wrote, “I want to drive down the road and into the evening sun. I want to drive with my windows down and with music blowing through my hair. I want to stop by the petrol kiosk, and sip cold Coke in the middle of winter from a frosty glass bottle. Can I, will I, how can I?”.

Now I write, “I am driving up the Changmai mountain road and into the December morning sun. I am driving with my windows down and Thai songs blowing through my hair. I am going to stop by the temple above the clouds, and sip hot coffee in the middle of winter from a white ceramic mug. I have done it, it may not be Australia, but that’ll do mate.”.

Jewie of the Pacific
January 2005
kings.lim@cllim.com